No more alone again
by unzulaenglichkeit
Summary: Contains Daikari, Kekari and DavisKen friendship. Will contain death and slight insanity. Final Part up.
1. Revelation

This contains Daikari, Kekari and Daiken friendship. Like always I'm not sure about the rating but I hope it's okay. Also there is going to be a second part no matter how many reviews I get. I really don't care if you review but I still would like to know what you think about it. So, review!  
  
There isn't much angst in this part but the second part will contain more. Promise.  
  
Enjoy your life if you can, it's not that long.  
  
Don't own digimon  
  
No more alone again  
  
The air was getting remarkably colder every day. Only some more weeks and the first snow was going to fall from the sky. But it was not that cold quite yet. The sky was still clear and not a single cloud disturbed the deep dark blue of the November sky. The trees were already leafless and the park was less crowded at this time of the year. Ken enjoyed the silence the park offered. He was sitting on a park bench with his eyes closed and only concentrating on his regular breathing. He needed these times of solitude to gather the strength he needed to handle his daily live. He may have changed but he was still a celebrity. People still watched every single move he made and judged all his actions. So he really loved the little freedom he had left.  
  
"Hey, Ken! Over here!" Yolei's voice, full of energy as always, brought him back to reality. He opened his eyes and saw Yolei, Cody and TK running towards him. His friends. They had helped him to handle his life after he had come back home from the Digiworld. At first he had thought about sticking to his old habits. He thought about withdrawing again, about cutting himself to watch and taste his sweet hot blood like he had done before. But he dismissed these thoughts. They would just lead in the same direction again and that would be of no help at all. But he found other ways to deal with his problems. He found friends.  
  
The digidestined helped him to find a way back into a normal life. They had doubts at first but with every passing day they trusted him more and more. All of them but especially Davis and Kari were now an important part of his life. Davis was the first one who tried to befriend him and who helped to integrate him into the group. He considered him his best and first sincere friend he ever had.  
  
Kari on the other hand was his emotional support. Whenever he felt these dark thoughts sneaking back into his mind he would talk to her and she would always be there. She would understand what no one else ever could because she was so similar to him sometimes. She had seen the Dark Ocean just like he had and she knew how hard it could be to shine on the outside while you struggle to keep the inner darkness down. Ken was more then thankful for her help, which had become so essential to him. He knew that Kari didn't really need him. She already had TK who would do everything for her. She just had to ask and he would be there for her. But she never actually did it. Instead she always told Ken, and only him, about her inner pain and despair. She trusted him but he knew that there was more behind it. TK and Kari were still friends but it was obvious to everyone, even Davis, that they were slowly growing apart. Davis tried to use this opportunity to get closer to Kari but she always kept her distance. The only one she would let get close beside Tai was Ken. At first he was afraid of destroying her friendship with TK completely but he enjoyed her attention too much to just give her up again. Besides it was her who was seeking his contact and he was pretty sure that sympathy was not the only cause for her changed behavior. He had noticed that she sometimes acted rather odd around him. He had asked her a couple of times about it but she always only blushed and said that it was nothing. She was a terrible liar.  
  
So he never gave up hope that she might love him but he never dared to tell her about his feelings. It was too embarrassing and he would not risk their friendship for what might be just a stupid crush. He knew that it wasn't just a crush but that's what he always told himself. So they were just close friends.  
  
Meanwhile Yolei, Cody and TK had arrived at the park bench and were taking their seats next to Ken. Yolei was the first one to speak. "Does anyone know why Davis wants us to meet here?" The others shook their heads and then continued to wait in silence. A couple of minutes later they saw Davis and Kari approaching between some trees. As they came closer Ken could feel that something was wrong. Davis was grinning like mad and Kari kept her eyes cast down to the path. They stopped right in front of the small group. Again it was Yolei who spoke first. "So, what is so important that we have to meet here? I should be helping in the shop right now, you know." She gave him an annoyed look but Davis continued to grin as if nothing could disturb his happy mood. Then he answered. "Well this might not be that important to you but I thought you deserved to know it anyways." "Just spill it!" Yolei was getting impatient and that stupid grin on Davis' face was starting to piss her of. His grin seemed to grow even wider if that was possible as he brought his right arm around Kari's shoulder. "Kari finally gave me the chance to proof that I am the right guy for her!" Kari's eyes were still glued to her shoes as the other four stared at her in disbelieve. Then she lifted her head slightly and brought a small smile to her lips but still kept her eyes away from her friend's unbelieving stares.  
  
In that very moment a heart, delicate like glass, turned black and shattered into millions of sharp pieces at the bottom of the empty shell formally know as Ichijouji Ken.  
  
And the sky remained blue, cold, and unchanged as the whole world of a young boy was torn down and burning to ashes and all his hopes blown away like leafs by the cold autumn wind.  
  
***  
  
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	2. What can I do?

Second part is up! I decided to write 2 more so you'll have to wait to see how it ends. For those few who are interested...  
  
Disclaimers: still the same  
  
Ken's POV:  
  
I can't remember how I managed to keep my composure but I did it. I excused myself and left the park quickly. When I was back in the streets I could feel my eyes watering. I wasn't going to cry in public, I told myself. So I ran. I ran until I was in the safety of my own room.  
  
My tears were now flowing freely. I had cried for what seemed like eternity to me but my tears were still coming. I was tired and my head and my eyes hurt but I wouldn't stop. It was the only thing I could do at that moment. I couldn't think of anything else to do. It was too late anyways. Oh, how I wanted to turn back time. I searched desperately for a possibility to escape my awaiting death. I really thought that this would be my end, that I would be dying after I had lost both of them. I knew that they would leave me behind. They didn't need me any longer. They had everything you could ever dream of. I knew from the beginning that I wasn't strong enough to live without their help. It was impossible! I wasn't even strong enough to endure all this pain they were causing in my heart. Or to be more exact, in the broken remains of what once had been my heart. Now the sharp edges of those broken shards were cutting into my flesh like razors and tore me apart from the inside. It  
was killing me and there was nothing I could do but waiting. I felt so helpless but I knew that it was my own fault. I already knew that I was weak and vulnerable but I let them get close anyways. In my desperate attempt to leave my past behind I also forgot all the useful things I had learned. Like never opening your heart for other people or they will see your weakness. I realized that after Sam's death but then I after my defeat I doubted myself. I ignored my own advise by letting my guard down. How stupid I have become. They are only humans so it really isn't their fault. They had to hurt me sooner or later without ever wanting to do so. It's the human nature, so I can't blame them. If you see it that way you could say that I had once been the almost perfect human being. I was cruel, selfish and demanding. That's how humans tend to be. I was close to perfection and look what I am now. There is only one word to describe me: pathetic.  
  
I'm no longer strong or independent. No more flying to the sky, playing between the stars, now that my wings are gone. Forcefully ripped from my back and only the burning pain and the hot blood on my pale skin are left. How could you do this to me? You showed me how helpless I really am and then you left me behind. I felt like a little child, lost and confused and I don't have the words to express what I think. But still, I hope and I wish that you will be happy, that each of you will be able to live a bright and careless life without the doubt and sorrows I have to fight each day of my wasted life. You deserve it unlike me.  
  
My tears had stopped a long time ago. I still felt like crying till the end of time but there were no more tears that could be shed. The first thing I noticed when I opened my bloodshot eyes was the sky outside. The deep but still bright blue colour had been replaced by a dark sky, not quite black but in the darkest shades of blue. But even in this endless sea of darkness there was still light. The moon was always there, bright and forgiving. So were the stars. They are never as bright as the shinning moon but their dim light is always friendly and understanding. Even in the darkest days they will be with you.  
  
A small sigh escaped my lips as my thoughts kept going back to Kari and Davis. Could you imagine a night sky without moon or stars? A depressing thought, isn't it? I couldn't accept that my life should be like that but what could I do? I didn't know and I had no idea where to ask for help. So I kept staring through the window, watching the pale moon. I wanted to ask Sam for advise but that was impossible. I know that he is always by my side but that was no help at that moment.  
  
But then it was no longer necessary anyway. Suddenly everything was so clear. I had found the perfect solution. A solution that was going to satisfy everybody.  
  
I grabbed my phone and dialled Davis' number. Soon everything would be okay and I would never be alone again.  
  
***  
  
I was sick when I wrote that part so please be gentle.  
  
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	3. Selfish thoughts

It took me some time but here it is: part three. One more to go.  
  
Disclaimers haven't changed yet  
  
  
  
Kari's POV:  
  
They took it better than I thought they would. That is if you don't count Ken. Well, I really don't know what I expected him to do but he disappointed me. I guess I wanted him to at least say or do something. It would have been okay if he had been angry or hurt. I wanted him to show that he cares because I know he does. But he just sat there and accepted it. How did he do that? His eyes, always sad and beautiful, showed no trace of emotions at all.  
  
"Kari, are you okay? You look so, you know, so far away. Is something troubling you?"  
  
Davis. He would do everything for me. I know that now. At first I thought he was just trying to use my popularity but when I got to know him better I had to rethink my conclusions. His love is sincere.  
  
"No, I was just daydreaming. Don't worry."  
  
"Oh,.. okay. Well, it's getting late and I promised my mom that I would be at home for dinner. I'll see you at school tomorrow, k?"  
  
"That's okay with me. See you tomorrow."  
  
I watched his retreating form as he ran done the street towards his apartment. My eyes stayed on his face as I stood there on the sidewalk and waved after him. He was smiling. This beautiful smile that I love so much. It's so pure and innocent like a small child's laugh that hasn't yet encountered the cruel reality of life.  
  
As I continued my way towards my own apartment I thought about it. A simple smile could tell you more about people than a million words. You just have to pay some attention and you will be able to look behind the masks everyone is hiding behind. It's not easy to fake a smile without somebody noticing it. Is that the reason why Ken hardly ever smiles? Is he afraid that we might see something we aren't supposed to know?  
  
At least I know that he is capable of laughing. It always feels so good to hear him laugh. I wish he would do it more often but I know that it's pretty hard for him. He, unlike Davis, is no longer an innocent child. His deep blue eyes have seen way too much to just ignore it. I think that's the most important difference between him and Davis. Ken knows what this world can do to you if you let your guard down and show weakness. He had learned it the hard way after the death of his brother. He had lost his childish innocence while Davis still believes. He believes in the people around him. He believes in things like trust, honour, sincerity, and love. He always believes in the possible defeat of evil and darkness. He is so innocent. That's why Ken and I need him that much. We have already lost our innocence but he reminds us that there are still things worth living for. We can't afford to let him go. I can't let him go. I know I am selfish but I need him just like I need Ken.  
  
Ken, the only person who ever understood what I felt deep inside. The one who shares my pain and my anxiety. The one who doesn't pity me who truly loves me.  
  
Yes, I know that he loves me. It's so obvious, at least to me. I don't need the crest of love to know that. I wanted him to admit it but eventually I realized that he is too afraid of hurting and losing Davis or me. He would never risk that.  
  
Even when Davis told them about us did he stay calm. It must have killed him on the inside. It's all my fault. Ken is hurting right now and it's my fault! I did this to him because of my selfish wishes. What have I done?  
  
I stopped and leaned against a house wall. My whole body was trembling and tears threatened to fall. As I leaned against the wall I began to sob. I never intended to hurt any of them but right now Ken was deeply hurt and it was all my fault. I had to do something. Who knows what Ken might do. Now that I destroyed all his hopes. Shattered like dishes on the hard kitchen floor.  
  
I needed help but I had no idea who I could ask for advise. Normally I would talk to Ken so I had to find someone else. I could call TK. He would always listen and then trying to cheer me up. But unfortunately that's not what I needed right now. I needed somebody who could understand my feelings at least a little. Matt came to my mind. I hadn't seen him very often these last month since he was pretty busy with his band and his antisocial attitude didn't help very much either but maybe he could understand me.  
  
Sometimes he was pretty much like Ken and I. He too had learned that this world wasn't as friendly as it looked like. So he was always there to help you with your problems no matter how busy he was.  
  
So I decided to call him. I started running home without bothering to brush the tears from my face. I didn't care what other people might think. Let them see that I was suffering and that it was all my fault. I didn't care at all. Calling Matt and helping Ken was all I could think about as I ran down the street. I hadn't noticed before but it was already getting dark. The moon was up in the sky and sending his gentle light down upon the earth. How could I do this to him? I hurt him badly and now I'm probably going to do the same thing to Davis too.  
  
I flung the apartment door open not bothering to tell my parents or Tai that I was home again. It didn't matter. Nobody was at home anyways.  
  
As I took my pink coat off I heard the phone ringing. I kicked my shoes off and rushed over to the phone. Before I answered it I tried to calm down so that my voice at least sounded normal.  
  
My efforts were in vain as I heard Ken's gentle voice over the line. His calm and almost happy tone startled me. Finally I managed to regain enough composure to answer him.  
  
He wanted me to come over without giving me any further explanations. I needed to talk to him so I agreed and then hung up. I got dressed again and rushed out without leaving a message since I wanted to see Ken as soon as possible.  
  
Now that I'm standing in front of his apartment I hesitate. Perhaps there really is a chance to keep both of them. I'm well aware that this is a foolish and very selfish thought but hope hasn't been destroyed yet. So I gather some courage and try to knock on the door. To my surprise it isn't locked or even closed. As I step trough the open door a strange smell welcomes me. But I don't pay it any attention as I close door behind me.  
  
*** 


	4. Together forever

Sorry for the delay if you were waiting. I was pretty busy. Sorry. Here's the last part of "No more alone again"!  
  
Disclaimers: still the same  
  
  
  
General POV:  
  
Kari stepped into the dimly lit hallway, closing the door behind her. She tried to switch on the lights but nothing happened. Instead she noticed a flickering light in the kitchen and in a second room further down the corridor. She hesitated a little but finally decided that it would be the best to call out for Ken.  
  
"Ken! Ken, are you at home?" She remained silent for a moment waiting for an answer but got none. The whole scenario disturbed her and one question after the other popped up in her head. 'Why did he call me when he isn't at home? Or is he at home and just can't answer me? Maybe he is hurt or unconscious. He could be playing a trick on me. But would Ken do such a thing? Has this something to do with Davis and me being together?'  
  
While she was thinking about Ken's odd behaviour she had reached the kitchen door. The flickering light was still dancing on the opposite wall of the narrow hallway. Slowly she peered around the corner to see what was causing that odd effect.  
  
Kari blinked in surprise when she saw the source of the light. Candles. Not just one or two but more than twenty of them. They had been placed randomly on the kitchen table. Except for the candles the kitchen was absolutely clean. That was the reason why she had noticed the small sheet of paper on the fridge. It was the only thing out of place.  
  
Curiosity took over and Kari decided to take a look at it. Perhaps it might give her a clue at what was going on here. She forgot completely about her nervousness and the eerie situation as she picked up the note and read it.  
  
Ken's parents had left it there. Obviously they were visiting Ken's aunt and uncle for a few days. Not really satisfied Kari pinned the note to the fridge again. She turned around to leave the small kitchen but stopped immediately. Out of the corner of her eyes she had seen something moving in the dark hallway. She didn't dare to move or to say something. Her heart was beating faster she could feel a cold sweat forming on her forehead. Was there something out in the shadows or was her imagination playing a trick on her? She pressed her back against the fridge. All her curiosity was gone now and only anxiety was left behind. She was pretty sure now that she wasn't alone in the apartment but who else was out there in the darkness? If it was Ken why didn't he answer me when she called for him and why would he still be trying to hide in the shadows? But if it wasn't Ken who could it be? Is that the reason why the door was open when she arrived here?  
  
Noises from down the hallway brought her attention back to the shadows outside. Who- or whatever was out there had already noticed her presents so there was no reason to keep quiet. Kari gathered all the courage she had and called once more. "Ken, is that you? Ken, please answer me!" She tried to sound self-confident but her voice was shaking and full of anxiety.  
  
This time, however, he answered.  
  
"I'm glad you could make it Kari!" The happy tone in his voice disturbed her. How could he be so happy after what had happened today? She knew about his feelings towards her. It would be normal if he suffered right now but he seemed to be totally content.  
  
"Ken, where are you? Please, come out!"  
  
"I'm in my room, right down the hall. You can't miss it."  
  
Unsure of what to do Kari slowly left the kitchen. Ken was her friend, wasn't he? So, why shouldn't she trust him?  
  
She kept her eyes on the flickering light coming out of what she supposed was Ken's room. As she came closer to the room the strange smell that had welcomed her when she arrived at the apartment grew stronger.  
  
It smelled somehow familiar but she couldn't put the finger on it so she kept ignoring it. When she reached the door she stopped and tried to peer around the corner into the room like she had done before she entered the kitchen. There were candles again just like she had expected but she was still startled by the immense number. She had been to temples, shrines and churches before but nothing she had seen there could be compared to the sight in front of her. The candles seemed to be everywhere in the small room. The dancing flames and the pure white wax bathed the whole room in a soft golden glow.  
  
Kari was completely enchanted by the almost heavenly light and therefore didn't notice Ken stepping out of the only remaining dark corner. He just stood there admiring her and taking in her angelic beauty. A light chuckle finally caught her attention.  
  
Unlike Kari's, Ken's form was still partly hidden in the darkness. She could hardly make out his black clothes and his deep-blue hair against the dark background. Only his ghostly pale skin was in sharp contrast to his surroundings. In the dim light of the candles his skin almost seemed to glow. To Kari he looked so unreal but yet beautiful.  
  
Ken was the first one to speak.  
  
"Hello, Kari. It's nice to see you."  
  
His words sent shivers down her neck. His tone and voice were friendly and gentle as always but something about his eyes wasn't right. These weren't those gentle and soft pools of blue she had gotten attached to. Something told her that she shouldn't trust him without a doubt.  
  
He was patiently waiting for her to speak. His unblinking eyes were watching her every move like a predator would watch his prey. Her brain told her to be careful around him but her heart, still enchanted by his soft voice and his gentle smile, dismissed every thought of mistrust.  
  
"Hello Ken. It's nice to see you too.  
  
Ken, I.. I think we need to talk."  
  
"I know. That's why I asked you to come over."  
  
"Ken, you don't understand. I know that you love me but you never tried to be more than just a friend to me. I couldn't wait any longer for you to do something." Her eyes were searching his face for a trace of emotion but his seemingly frozen smile did tell her nothing about his inside. So she just continued.  
  
"Then there was Davis. He made it obvious that his love for me wasn't just a temporally crush but true love. Unlike you he kept trying and eventually I fell for him. But that doesn't mean that I don't love you anymore. I wish that I didn't have to choose between the two of you. I was still waiting for you to show your true feelings but you never did. So I gave in to Davis. I hope you'll understand my decision."  
  
She couldn't look at him any longer. The emptiness in his piercing blue eyes. She wanted to kiss him and to tell him that everything would be okay but instead she cried silently.  
  
His gentle voice ripped through her thoughts like a knife and brought her back to reality.  
  
"Don't cry. There is no reason why you should feel sorry or guilty. "  
  
His features seemed to lighten as he was speaking.  
  
"I found a solution that will make everyone happy. But before I tell you more you should calm down a little. Would you like some hot chocolate?"  
  
He handed her a steaming cup and continued to speak as she was sipping the hot drink.  
  
"You have to understand that I could not risk to loose any of you. Yes, I love you, more than my own life but Davis loves you too. I didn't want to hurt him by fulfilling my selfish wishes. "  
  
He watched her emptying her cup as he spoke.  
  
"I was almost ready to accept a lonely live without you when the solution came to my mind. It is perfect. We will be together forever. Nobody will ever leave me behind again. Not you nor Davis nor Osamu."  
  
Kari tried to take everything in he was telling her but it was difficult to do so. She felt dizzy and only wanted to sleep.  
  
"Ken what are you talking about? I thought your brother is dead."  
  
"Of course he is dead. Just like Davis. But don't worry we will be with them soon."  
  
Kari was about to fall but Ken supported her with one of his arms while he took the half empty cup from her hands.  
  
"What.. what have you done?"  
  
"Don't be afraid. It's like going to sleep. It won't hurt and you will see Davis again. I'll be joining you soon and everything will be okay. I promise. Now sleep my angel."  
  
Kari tried to fight the poison in her system but it was futile. Before she closed her eyes awaiting death to take her she finally recognised the disturbing smell she had noticed before. 'Blood! Why didn't I recognise it sooner?'  
  
Ken waited until her breathing and her heartbeat stopped. Then he picked her up and carried her over to the dark corner where he was hiding before.  
  
There he laid her down next to Davis carefully avoiding the pool of blood, which was forming around Davis' slit throat. He gently brushed a strand of hair out of her face and kept admiring their peaceful faces for a moment before he went back to the centre of the room to pick up the cup again. He closed his eyes as he brought it to his lips and drank the remaining poison.  
  
Lying down between his dead friends he could feel death taking over. He didn't fear death but he felt sorry for going to that extent.  
  
Holding their still warm hands he placed a gentle kiss upon Kari's soft lips before he finally lost control over his body and the Grim Reaper took him away.  
  
'Kari, Davis wait for me. I'm coming!'  
  
***  
  
END.  
  
  
  
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